Born and brought up away from my native city Kolkata, in a small city called Siliguri(I had no clue why my mother decided to give me birth there till a certain time). My grandfather who was posted there at that time(Government service), wanted her elder daughter near him. After a few months even my dad took a job near Siliguri. So that is how the civilized settlement of my family starts there.
I was a kid of five when I started dreaming of my career. I wanted to be in the media industry since then. My family was ruled by lawyers, professors and government officers, for that reason this dream was very vague. I was passionate about books more than anything else. The only source to read books would be my school library, where I would borrow a book every day. The librarian stopped stamping the due dates behind the books after a point, as he knew I am going to complete and return them the very next day. I was a very average student since my high school. Though I would win national fests, be a geek, debate and even lead several things in school. I was focused always in one thing, the dreams I see.
It was not long before my dreams started clashing with my personal life. Result? Change of friends, away from girlie groups(Away from drama grew up with maximum guy friends a girl can have. Wait, actually all until my best friend happened.), break ups, etc. No person could handle a ambitious feminist like me in a conversation.
My single mother always supported me in every decision I took( Keeping aside her motherly melodrama after a while of argument). We had an amazing ride of experiences filled with hatred, love, friendship, grievances, tears, justifications, after her separation, with my dad. There were nights we used to wonder we will survive till when. My brother was a little companion in all of that.The war was like we against the entire world. There were people who helped whose existence was never considered, there were people who showed us back as well. There were several good friends of mine whom I considered good until…I discovered I was an emotional fool. Wherever I would see love, I would be there for that person desperately. Some people took advantage of this. I was an emotionally exploited person who got tired after a certain point. That is when I understood the meaning of family. My mother told me after a while “Its always not blood that gives you the reason, who you should count as your family. A deserving person tells you he deserves to be your family.” My mother became my hero. I saw her start from the scratch and build an empire with each night reminding me, what my brother and I mean to her.
A rebellious person I grew up as, strong, proud and full of passion to live life, I kept counted people in my life. I slacked negativity from my life really fast.
I don’t compromise on my emotional needs for anyone. I only surround myself with people who give me happiness. Many people hate me for this reason. But I wish they knew I only care about people who matter.
The last day a friend from my school told me about a guy, who follows my every post. He told her “She clearly speaks business, I don’t think she will ever get married, such a sharp tongued lady can only make her husband run off.” To everyone who thinks of any ambitious lady this way, thank you so much. It is because of you people we kind of ladies exist. We are glad we got over the scoop of fairy tale pages of life real fast. And talking about marriage? Well! Although I have no clue whether I will get married, if I do I would marry a feminist, and not a douche bag. So I hope he doesn’t get offended by anything I say, or else he is free to leave if he wants.
Sairindhri Sengupta 